No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
