Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
