nut hugger
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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