I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
