Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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