Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
