the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
