My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
