So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
