You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
