If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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