the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
