Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
