whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
