can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
