ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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