Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
