Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
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Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
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I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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