Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
