Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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