Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
