U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
