oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
