3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
