tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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