I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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