i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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