im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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