i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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