1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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