I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
