You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
