you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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