just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
