dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
