My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
