I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
