yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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