Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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