Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
