wanna go halves on a baby?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
