Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You made out with two different species that night
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
