So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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