i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
