The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
