I cut my penus on the lid.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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