pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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