How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
