I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
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On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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