Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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