so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
