Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
