Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
