Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
