The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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