i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
