I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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