If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
