dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Randomize
