Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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