Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
