No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
