are you still at the devil's house?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
