How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
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He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
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Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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